When will the screaming stop?

I’ve heard many times on adoption training that we need to be patient, calm and understanding to our kids – of which I totally agree. However recently this is becoming harder as we’re faced with a screaming child desperate to push us away in whatever way they can!

I found this video awhile ago that made me laugh – especially the younger child who seems to be unaffected by the noise. Click the picture to watch.  You may want your sound turned down!

Screaming Kids

I’m sure this is common to others as well – those with adopted children and of course birth children also. BUT when is it ok for us to scream? Controversial thoughts these may be, but there are times when screaming is a therapeutic act, a release, a sense of freedom and damn the consequences! Of course I can hear all those voices out there saying “you can’t do that, you’ll only make the child worse” and of course I’m not advocating we all scream our heads off when we don’t get our own way or when we want to hurt others, or just whenever we feel like it!

So when is it legitimate to scream and let off steam? We all have coping mechanisms I see it in my friends, adopters and non adopters – some may shut out the noise and disappear in their own existence, others may demand the child complies to their way of thinking, whilst others will be able to stay calm and patient and follow the Dan Hughes method of being playful, curious, loving and accepting.

So what of you? How do you cope with the screaming and constant pushing of buttons? I have to confess this is not my strong area – at times I can be calm and understand where my adorable kids are coming from and feel the compassion they need, at other times I can’t and can feel the buttons being pushed as if I have no control on them!

There are so many ways to respond once the screaming is over. We can either ignore it, wait for a new day to dawn, or we can embrace the ups and downs of our emotions and feel where our child is at. We know they need us to be strong – and that can be hard in itself BUT we can do it – to take on children in this way is a strong, brave thing for which we should be proud. Their screaming calls us to see the hurt child in them and to love them wholly and compassionately. All parenting is challenging – the most difficult job in the world!

AND when YOU need to scream find a safe place to do just that!

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