Healing powers of laughter

Children laughing

I absolutely love watching and hearing my kids laugh! Children know how to really laugh. Something happens to us adults after a certain age where we become respectable with our laughter – we smile, make a short sound like “huh” or even a giggle BUT when you see a child really laugh from the bottom of their bellies it’s a different thing. I remember laughing so hard when I was a child that my stomach hurt and no sound was coming out my mouth – in fact I laugh that hard as much as I can now too!

So what’s this got to do with adoption? Well I’ve heard it said before how therapeutic laughter can be. For our children they need to have those moments of feeling like a child again – many had a very short childhood (if at all), they may have been looking after siblings or just having to handle things no child should have to handle. Now the times when they can kick back, laugh and be a child again are essential.

What about you as an adoptive parent? Well again it’s essential to be able to laugh, see the funny side of life and not take ourselves so seriously sometimes. I know parenting in this way can seem heavy at times and the things we think about, read and experience can be heart breaking – all the more reason to be able to see the humour in life to keep ourselves balanced.

In his book A Laughing Place, Christian Hageseth noted that “humor is essential to the enterprise of being a parent. It may be the single best antidote for parent burn-out. Humor plays a central role in parent/child attachment.”

I saw this on the internet recently:

Please read the following: “The opportunity for attaching isnowhere.” Did you read “The opportunity for attaching is no where” or “The opportunity for attaching is now here”? We all saw the same thing but we might have made of it something completely different. You have a choice: you can look at routine situations, particularly those in which your child’s action leads to an embarrassing moment, either as attachment experiences or as its opposite. Whether the experience is an “attaching is now here” opportunity or an “attaching is no where” opportunity is completely up to you.

Laughter is one of those opportunities – the chance to be silly with your children, to be a child again yourself and to connect with them in a way that shows them we understand them. I truly believe this can play a large part in our attachment and our bond together.

The internet is a wonderful source of inspiration – I also found this:

Here’s a letter written by a young adult whom I placed with a single mom. Mom had been so proud when her daughter made it to college. She so much wanted her to succeed good grades that she would get very upset when her daughter’s grades weren’t so good. One day this mom got a letter from her daughter:

Dear Mom:

I am sorry that I have not written, but all my stationary was destroyed when the dorm burned down. I am now out of the hospital and the doctors says that I will be fully recovered soon. I have also moved in with the boy who rescued me, since most of my stuff was destroyed in the fire.

Oh yes, I know that you have always wanted a grandchild, so you will be pleased to know that I am pregnant and you will have one soon. The wedding date is set for the middle of the month and I hope you can make it.

See ya soon.

With Love, Carla

PS. There was no fire, my health is perfectly fine, and I am not pregnant. In fact, I do not even have a boyfriend. However, I did get a D in French and a C in Math and Chemistry. I just wanted to make sure that you keep it all in perspective.

Let’s try and see the funny side this week, laugh with our children and make more connections! Not only will you feel closer but you may also see the benefits to your stress levels as well!

Nicola

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