The time is now


I love programmes about time travel – it’s a bit sad I guess but shows like Doctor Who, Fringe, Primevil, Heroes – anything that merges time and space fascinates me. I think it’s the concept of being able to go back in time and change the outcomes for people. Of course on most of these programmes the rules around time travel are very clear – you cannot change the course of history or it will have negative repercussions.

I read a post from a friend on Facebook last week that took me on a thought process around time travel. The post was a Mum struggling with her child and saying “if we could only turn back the clock” – I’m not sure what she was implying – that she would do things differently if she knew then what she knows now?, or on a more sad note that if she could turn back time maybe she might not have had him! Wow that’s a hard thought?

There are times in our lives when things are so tough that we would like to go back and change the course of our lives. We could gain something by doing that but we would also lose something too. There are times as an adoptive parent that we might wonder how life would have turned out if we’d have not started the process. For those parents who are struggling then the whole thought of recommending adoption to others can be hard. If only we had a time machine I wonder what we might do?

But as with ‘real’ time travel there are rules and consequences of messing with the space time continuum. One of the programmes I mentioned above called Heroes talks about this a lot. There’s a hero who has the super power of bending the space time continuum – he’s always trying to go back and fix things but whatever he does some things are destined to happen. I wonder if there’s split seconds in time where we make a decision about our lives that can change the course of them forever. I used to believe as a Christian that there was a perfect plan for us – one way of living, one soul mate, one main purpose in life. However as I’ve grown older I think there are many roads we can take – different careers we can choose and even different partners (there isn’t just one perfect person out there for us). I think we have choice. I do think some of the decisions we make change our lives forever and adoption was one of those for me.

When you come to adoption many times it’s through loss and pain and can seem like a last resort. If it stays feeling like that then I can understand how difficult it as when things are tough to be able to stay positive and see our choice as the right one. But for me I believe our path to adoption was meant to be. The disappointment, pain and loss was necessary to bring our family together. I would never want the pain and suffering our children experienced to be the same for others and if I did have a time machine I would go back and change their start for sure. But as we are where we are I know without a shadow of a doubt that how our family was created was meant to be.

So if you could see into the future would you want to know what comes? There are many times when I worry about my children’s future – will they be able to make sense enough of their past to move on to the future? I don’t know. I do know that we will do our best to cope with whatever the future holds. The only moment in time we can truly influence is now. The past has gone, the future is yet to come, but now we can change. So today as I live my life with those around me I will try to concentrate on the now – the time I can change for the better.

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