Category Archives: General Posts

When I think of all the emotions associated with Mother’s Day – for me personally being a Mother through adoption has very mixed emotions. For most Adoptive parents it probably wasn’t their first choice, that doesn’t mean to say it … Continue reading

Posted in Attitudes, General Posts | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The balance between unrealistic expectations and hoping for the best is sometimes had to strike with adopted children. I am forever trying to temper my expectations of what my children can do with the reality of their difficulties. This week … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

My daughter has just started at High School…..what a see saw of emotions. For children who have experienced trauma, and as a result have attachment difficulties, big transitions like this can be very difficult. Whilst she seems to be taking … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

“He’s just attention seeking, if you give him attention it won’t do him any good” – this phrase and words to these effect are typical words we hear as parents  and professionals. When you see a child tugging on their … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Yesterday we looked at what we reward children for …… today our second question – why do we feel the need to reward children? We are told that what you focus on is what you get and I can see that. … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Something I’m asked time and again, whilst doing training for schools, is how can we use rewards effectively with children who’ve experienced trauma? Well there are a few fundamental questions we have to ask ourselves first:- What are we rewarding … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Family pressures Families are great aren’t they! We don’t choose them and we can’t get away from them (well we can I suppose). Whatever your extended family is like today I can guarantee having adopted children has changed that dynamic … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Belly laugh My kids love to laugh. I’m sure you can remember those times when you were young and you laughed so hard your belly hurt and you thought you might have an accident! If you can’t remember that of course … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

  “Isn’t adoptive parenting the same as any other parenting?” “We all have the same struggles as you do” “Just treat them like you would any child and they’ll be fine”. If you’re an adoptive parent these are words I’m … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Building trust Trust is the foundation of relationships. We know that relationships have failed our children in many ways. They don’t feel the basic level of trust that other children do, so they constantly question our motives and are looking … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Emotional age vs chronological age When we are stressed we all regress, but for our children that regression can be shocking. An 11 year old for example may regress to behave like a 5 year old under extreme stress. This … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Education is a constant battle for most children who have experienced early trauma. My husband and I have three adopted children who all struggle to one degree or another with their school. Whilst it is a small, caring, understanding school … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

My daughter has just started at High School…..what a see saw of emotions. For children who have experienced trauma and as a result have attachment difficulties big transitions like this can be very difficult. Whilst she seems to be taking … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

At a conference I was at recently Louise Bomber the author of ‘Inside I’m Hurting’ made a comment on how to help children deal with the difficult sides to their emotions – the anger, the frustration, the shame.  She talked about the … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

I’m on a new eating plan at the moment – quite a radical one for me actually. It means I have to change my whole approach to food which has been hard. It’s made me think once again about my … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

It’s my birthday tomorrow and …….. I’m sure I won’t cry. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve reached the ripe old age of 42 – not ashamed but I am a bit sad – I am now well and truly … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , | Comments Off

Since I’ve become a parent I’ve been aware of the feeling of being under scrutiny from others. Whether this is a ‘normal’ feeling as a parent or something unique to adoption I don’t know. Of course none of us as … Continue reading

Posted in General Posts | Tagged , , , | Comments Off