Category Archives: Self Care

This week on The Adoption Social site there’s been much focus on CPV (Child to parent violence) and as I’ve been reading others posts I am amazed at the situations some of my fellow adopters are enduring. We have been … Continue reading

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We are real Bear Grylls fans in our house, particularly our youngest who couldn’t think of anything better then being dropped out of a helicopter over a murky lake in the middle of the jungle, eating insects and drinking his … Continue reading

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There are many kinds of alarm bells – warning signs that are trying to get our attention all day. The obvious one that wakes us up in the morning, but also the many other alarms around us. The creaking of … Continue reading

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There’s something that we don’t like to talk much about in the adoption world. As parents it’s something a large proportion of us live with daily to one degree or another. It’s something we don’t admit to and certainly don’t … Continue reading

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Our theme this week is ‘cheerful perseverance’ and I can’t say I have much cheerfulness in my persevering at the moment. Being a parent of three near teenagers (11, 12 and 14) would try anyones resolve and at times (like … Continue reading

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We are always told that failure and adversity makes us stronger. That we learn through trial and error. That you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Enough of the cliches….this weeks theme for our blog buddy group … Continue reading

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There are many things I would have liked to have been over the years – a singer, a world traveller, someone who can cook, many many things. The problem with wishing to be something you’re not is that you spend … Continue reading

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  As an adoptive parent sometimes it feels like we are going into the wild – the mysterious, unexplored territory that none have dared to dread before. Of course many have. There were nearly 4,000 adoptions that took place in … Continue reading

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Sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed – all day. I’d love to stay hibernating under the covers, maybe watching 8 episodes of Gossip Girl and generally pursuing laziness. But I can’t and why not? Well at … Continue reading

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There are many positive things about adoption. However one of the aspects that isn’t talked about much is the intense feeling of disappointment and disillusionment that can come, particularly early on. For most of us who come to adoption it’s … Continue reading

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This week I was asked to give my opinion on a dilemma discussed on our local radio show BBC WM. Whilst I don’t like to make judgements on other peoples lives I have thought a lot since about this particular … Continue reading

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It’s been a hectic week this week – lots of travelling, speaking and training, meeting new people and catching up with old friends – lots of time away from my children and not much sleep. All in all I feel … Continue reading

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As a nation we seem to be very down on extreme emotions – it’s not the done thing to be too sad and certainly not cool to be too happy! Melancholy, stress, exuberance, crazy singing and dancing in the street … Continue reading

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When we started on the adoption journey I really did believe I was resilient enough to do a good job. Like most people I’ve had my ups and downs in life but nothing really major I guess – I’ve been … Continue reading

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For years now I’ve been conscious that I want to thrive in all areas of my life – not just survive. As an adoptive parent (any parent that is) there is a tendency to just feel satisfied at getting to … Continue reading

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Being an adoptive parent can be a lonely business sometimes. When you feel that very few understand the pains involved and the challenges. When your child tells you they just want to be with their ‘proper’ mum or that they … Continue reading

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  What comes first the chicken or the egg? This is a well known conundrum and one I will not aim to solve in this blog but it has been going around my mind as our title for this weeks … Continue reading

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I bought myself a Mothers Day present this year – a necklace with an engraving of a tree on it. Around the bottom of the tree the names of all five of us in our family are engraved, myself my … Continue reading

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So we’re supposed to be in Spring apparently – clocks have sprung forward, daffodils are springing up all over, people’s moods are lighter as the days are longer and there’s that general feeling of a new season emerging. However just … Continue reading

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There’s not much peace around me at the moment. Many of my adoption friends are finding life particularly challenging with their children and the general pressures of life. I too am finding that those moments of pure peace are few … Continue reading

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‘I seldom end up where I want to go but I always end up where I need to be’ is the title of our blog buddies challenge this week and it made me think of a blog I wrote a … Continue reading

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What’s your story? I love hearing people’s stories on the radio or on TV. To hear what’s happened to them in their life and how it’s significant to them, i.e. that it’s changed them. I wonder why that’s so interesting … Continue reading

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I was at a wedding last week and the Preacher used a phrase that has stuck with me since. I don’t think he intended it to be such a profound message, as it was a bit of a throw away … Continue reading

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Why are we so bothered about being the odd one out, the person who hasn’t experienced what others have, the one who can’t relate to the story or the one who actually hasn’t got a clue what people are talking … Continue reading

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What happens when you slow down? When you stop the running around, dashing from one place to the next, focused on what’s coming and what needs to be done. What do you see, feel and hear when you can slow … Continue reading

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  My kids love to run. They run from the bedroom to the bathroom, they run downstairs, they run to the car, they run from the car into school. All day they run. It struck me this morning as I … Continue reading

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What is it about birthdays? They come once a year – just one day but they can hold so much in them – memories, anticipation, sadness, happiness, surprises and shocks sometimes! It’s my birthday today and as ever it’s got … Continue reading

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  How deep is your love is a great sentiment and it’s something that pops into my mind occasionally as an adoptive parent – how deep is my love and compassion for my children; with their pain, angst and general … Continue reading

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Parenting adopted children can be like a military operation. We have three children who actually like to be in chaos – ‘like’ may not be the right word but it is their comfort zone I suppose – the place that … Continue reading

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Tip Number One – Quietness Quietness is a rarity these days. When you have three children descend on your quiet life it does inevitably create noise and chaos. Not that I’m complaining about that – but in order to stay … Continue reading

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We all have the need to belong to something – whether that’s within our family and friends, or a group of people who understand the things we go through and experience. There’s a theory called ‘The Third Place‘ that psychologists … Continue reading

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“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on” – Henry Ellis There are many decisions we have to make every day.  What breakfast to eat, what to wear, what to do with … Continue reading

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“I’m not like other 9 years old”, “I don’t have a normal family”, “I’m not a normal parent”……on and on – our children may say it, we may say it but this week this concept of being ‘normal’ has struck … Continue reading

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Peace on earth. goodwill to men….I’ve been listening to a brilliant song this week ‘I heard the bells on Christmas day’ – with a great chorus – “Peace on Earth”. I’ve included a link to this song as I hope … Continue reading

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Having not had birth children myself I can’t say I understand parenting in the sense of how most people have a family. They conceive, have the wonderful (and painful so I’m told) experience of giving birth and then of course … Continue reading

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As an adoptive mother I’ve struggled for years with the feelings of loss that come from not being able to give birth to children.  Today though I started to re-think my feelings on this whole subject.  Unlike people who experience … Continue reading

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It was three years last week when our children moved in with us. Those three years have been a real roller coaster of emotions but one thing is sure – it takes time to adapt to this adoption journey for … Continue reading

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On holiday last week we were driving down a steep road and I noticed the sign for an ESCAPE LANE – one of those little slip roads you can go down if you lose control on the road.  That phrase … Continue reading

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There are many times when I ask myself why we took on this immense journey of adoption.  I’m sure there are those moments for you all!  When no matter how much you try to follow the therapeutic parenting route you … Continue reading

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I sometimes feel like I’m in no mans land in terms of my parenting experience. When you adopt (without having birth children first) it is a weird place to be. You don’t have the stories of pregnancy and childbirth to … Continue reading

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I’ve heard many times on adoption training that we need to be patient, calm and understanding to our kids – of which I totally agree. However recently this is becoming harder as we’re faced with a screaming child desperate to … Continue reading

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