Tag Archives: adoption parenting

Sometimes it’s hard to know what the best things in life are. When you strive to make your life happier you can get waylaid by shiny things that promise to give you happiness – nice clothes, better car, more luxurious … Continue reading

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When I think of all the emotions associated with Mother’s Day – for me personally being a Mother through adoption has very mixed emotions. For most Adoptive parents it probably wasn’t their first choice, that doesn’t mean to say it … Continue reading

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There are many kinds of alarm bells – warning signs that are trying to get our attention all day. The obvious one that wakes us up in the morning, but also the many other alarms around us. The creaking of … Continue reading

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We hear all the time about how important being consistent is to our children – whether that’s being a consistent caregiver that they know or between partners being consistent in our approach to our children. It’s something that comes up … Continue reading

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There’s something that we don’t like to talk much about in the adoption world. As parents it’s something a large proportion of us live with daily to one degree or another. It’s something we don’t admit to and certainly don’t … Continue reading

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Our theme this week is ‘cheerful perseverance’ and I can’t say I have much cheerfulness in my persevering at the moment. Being a parent of three near teenagers (11, 12 and 14) would try anyones resolve and at times (like … Continue reading

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We are always told that failure and adversity makes us stronger. That we learn through trial and error. That you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Enough of the cliches….this weeks theme for our blog buddy group … Continue reading

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  As an adoptive parent sometimes it feels like we are going into the wild – the mysterious, unexplored territory that none have dared to dread before. Of course many have. There were nearly 4,000 adoptions that took place in … Continue reading

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Sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed – all day. I’d love to stay hibernating under the covers, maybe watching 8 episodes of Gossip Girl and generally pursuing laziness. But I can’t and why not? Well at … Continue reading

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I’ve never been trained in the art of negotiation – in my previous life in the corporate world I did have some negotiation training in terms of managing people but nothing like you see on films when the expert is … Continue reading

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There are many times as a parent when I really want to make a point to my children. As they are growing older they very often want to make a point to me. Sometimes it feels like we’re in a … Continue reading

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Thoughts are off summer and back to the daily routine of school and work for next week. As I reflect back on our summer break though I am encouraged in some ways that we have progressed as a family over … Continue reading

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  I heard this quote as part of a talk about poverty – a very complex, serious and devastating issue for many people in our world today. However as I’ve been mulling it over as our blog buddies title this … Continue reading

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Sometimes when you’re in the thick of things it’s hard to see any progress – how far have you come? Has the journey been worth it? What difference have you made along the way? In our blog buddies title this … Continue reading

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When we started on the adoption journey I really did believe I was resilient enough to do a good job. Like most people I’ve had my ups and downs in life but nothing really major I guess – I’ve been … Continue reading

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For years now I’ve been conscious that I want to thrive in all areas of my life – not just survive. As an adoptive parent (any parent that is) there is a tendency to just feel satisfied at getting to … Continue reading

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Being an adoptive parent can be a lonely business sometimes. When you feel that very few understand the pains involved and the challenges. When your child tells you they just want to be with their ‘proper’ mum or that they … Continue reading

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  What comes first the chicken or the egg? This is a well known conundrum and one I will not aim to solve in this blog but it has been going around my mind as our title for this weeks … Continue reading

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I bought myself a Mothers Day present this year – a necklace with an engraving of a tree on it. Around the bottom of the tree the names of all five of us in our family are engraved, myself my … Continue reading

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‘The toughest thing you ever did could well be the best thing you ever did.’  Our blog buddies title this week and one I could write on from a few different angles but I’ve decided on one. This week in … Continue reading

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These lyrics to a song by The Feeling always jump out at me when I hear the song – why is that I wonder? Well I’m always amazed when I hear stories of people who’ve overcome horrendous pasts to become … Continue reading

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Stomp, stomp, stomp up the stairs, bang goes the bedroom door, crash go the toys as they fly around the room……a familiar sound in our house I’m afraid. Of course this is following a load of shouting and screaming about … Continue reading

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The balance between unrealistic expectations and hoping for the best is sometimes had to strike with adopted children. I am forever trying to temper my expectations of what my children can do with the reality of their difficulties. This week … Continue reading

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Friends are really important to most of us. Being able to spend time with someone who makes you laugh, understands where you’re coming from and supports and encourages you when things are tough is amazing. Over the years I’ve been … Continue reading

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What’s your story? I love hearing people’s stories on the radio or on TV. To hear what’s happened to them in their life and how it’s significant to them, i.e. that it’s changed them. I wonder why that’s so interesting … Continue reading

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‘Life is a series of problems that we must solve – one then the next then the next until we die’. – Downton Abbey A very depressing quote from the Grandmother in Downton Abbey last week – for those who watch … Continue reading

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Our youngest had a birthday this week – all three children now in double figures and don’t we know it! I just had to reflect on it all this morning as how my children react to things sometimes fascinates me. … Continue reading

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When you see new born babies with their Mum more often than not there’s an instant bond, an invisible cord that seems to bind them together. The goggly eyes from the adults and the response from the baby. This is … Continue reading

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I was at a wedding last week and the Preacher used a phrase that has stuck with me since. I don’t think he intended it to be such a profound message, as it was a bit of a throw away … Continue reading

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Regret can be a crippling thing. Whether it’s regret over something you did or didn’t do, whether it’s pain over things that happened to you or didn’t happen to you – looking back and wishing things were different doesn’t help … Continue reading

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Why are we so bothered about being the odd one out, the person who hasn’t experienced what others have, the one who can’t relate to the story or the one who actually hasn’t got a clue what people are talking … Continue reading

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It is 5 years since we had our children placed with us and we are having a party tomorrow to celebrate. This week I’ve been mulling over the party coming up and the question going round my mind has been … Continue reading

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Less than a week left of the summer holidays and as ever there’s mixed emotions about going back to school and getting back into the routine of life. The summer is a strange time I think, everyone seems to slow … Continue reading

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Sometimes the realisation of how different children who have been adopted are to other children takes you by surprise. On Friday I attended our Secondary schools awards ceremony for year 7 and 8 (aged 11-13 ish). I was attending as … Continue reading

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This expression is used a lot within the adoption world. Many times social workers comment on the importance of the childs’ needs within our care system – that everything we do throughout the process is supposedly about protecting the needs … Continue reading

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What happens when you slow down? When you stop the running around, dashing from one place to the next, focused on what’s coming and what needs to be done. What do you see, feel and hear when you can slow … Continue reading

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   I’ve been thinking about change recently. With Christmas and the change in routines, then back to school and work and the readjustments again to the routine, and then this week with the snow that routine has gone out the … Continue reading

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I’ve found that sometimes it’s quite difficult to stay grateful. The times when you are so exhausted from trying to do the right thing with your children, when their issues are so great and consume your energy and thoughts, when … Continue reading

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I love Dr Seuss. Before I had children I loved Dr Seuss and now I have children I love him all the more. We went to see the Lorax this weekend and there were a few quotes that really made … Continue reading

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Parenting adopted children can be like a military operation. We have three children who actually like to be in chaos – ‘like’ may not be the right word but it is their comfort zone I suppose – the place that … Continue reading

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Family pressures Families are great aren’t they! We don’t choose them and we can’t get away from them (well we can I suppose). Whatever your extended family is like today I can guarantee having adopted children has changed that dynamic … Continue reading

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We all have the need to belong to something – whether that’s within our family and friends, or a group of people who understand the things we go through and experience. There’s a theory called ‘The Third Place‘ that psychologists … Continue reading

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